Tuesday, July 05, 2005

God bless those other countries, too

Your trusty blogger is about to embark on some field research on international relations. I'll be investigating Bastille Day in Paris (my second!), exploring a city in which it is possible to enjoy herbal entertainment (or even fungal sacraments) without fear of interference by Dutch-speaking people with handcuffs, frolicking with European radical faeries (on Terskhhhhhhhhelling Island), comparing wedding chapels in Barcelona (just in case I meet Mr. Right some time soon), and sailing across the Mediterranean with an entire shipload of ho-mo-se-xu-als (because I've never been to Spain, Italy, or Turkey, and I'm not going to fly to Asia for the first time, I'm going to take a BUS!).

That means that I shall be blogging much less frequently for most of the rest of the summer. I shall have longish periods with no possibility of Internet access, and other days where it will just be outrageously expensive. (I mean, I'm obsessive about my blog and all, but I'm not going to pay to jack in via satellite from a cruise ship. Maybe we'll have lunch in an Internet café in Florence or something.)

I will thus leave you with links to a few of my favorite of my postings, and other good stuff. If you spam my blog, I will stir-fry your ballbags and serve them to prisoners at Gizmo, with lamb and hummus. [It's a Daily Show reference.]

  • Fareed v. Fwill on Snuffaluffagus — Fareed Zakaria gives me hope for America, no exaggeration
  • Alternative Text of the Federal Marriage Amendment, or the plain-English summary
  • review of What the Bleep — a cult indoctrination film that actually talks some sense!
  • Why I opposed Robert Börk when President Satan Nixon Reagan appointed him to be Swedish Chef Associate Justice of the Supreme Court (Or "Ayyyy-jay-ess-see, baby!") — it wasn't his facial hair! [and also the few articles following that one]
  • A translation of President George "Dumbya" Bush's address at Fort Bragg into plain English
  • A Modest Proposal for peace in the Middle East, followed up by a more serious proposal.
  • my second week, including George Galloway before the Senate
  • Why the Catholic church inevitably produces pedophile priests
  • America, the (Phrase) Book — useful phrases like the Finnish for "Do you speak French?" and a deeply offensive insult in Hawai'ian. (I don't know how to spell it, but if you meet someone from Denmark, be sure to call them a "blaue-huul" [in German phonetics].)
  • Two of my more conservative postings
  • My schoolyard insult to Governor Schwulearzeneggficker
  • Oh my goddess, it's not a joke ad on Comedy Central, it's a real product!
  • (irony-mode=OFF) My tribute to the enduring symbol of our Freedom, the Flag of the United States of America
  • Open criticism of a die-hard leftie, Mayor Willie Brown
  • My analysis of the parallels between the Michael Jackson trial and the two O.J. Simpson trials.
  • Any of the links on the lefthand sidebar, including the archives and the other blogs and generally worthwhile places to visit, certainly including KQKE and Air America. As for Randi Rhodes, there's not a straight bone in my body, but her show makes me want to give her a [virtual] big ol' kiss on the mouth. Here's some e-hugs instead. If given a choice between The Daily Show and oxygen, take the Daily Show. You're allowed to have oxygen if it's a re-run.
Thanks to Ann C., whose nifty new bumpersticker gave me my headline!

P.S. Sure sign of the impending apocalypse: Diet Pepsi using a Ramones song in their TV commercial. It's the most sick-and-wrong musical mix I've heard since the muzak version of the theme song from M∗A∗S∗H — you know, "Suicide is Painless [la la la] It brings on many changes [deet deet dee deet deet dee] ..." But now we have Jon Stewart telling us (yes, in a re-run, but hey, I'm an addict) about John Hostettler (R–Indiana) and the War on Christianity. Watch the episode of Stella on Comedy Central where one of the guys runs for President of the residents board for their apartment building, with an eye to the many layers of political satire; it's more rich than I have time to write about if I'm going to catch my plane in two days.... That and all of Reno 911! Seriously. And go see Lords of Dogtown and Summer Storm; if you like this blog, you will not regret it.

Something to think about: I think Morgan Spurlock is a more interesting person than "Jared," but I'd way rather eat nothing but Subway than nothing but McDonald's. (Wow, Morgan Spurlock rigged the conditions so that he would have to balloon in a month: he had to eat three meals a day, all of them at Mickey D'ease, he had to eat every single menu item at least once, and he wasn't allowed to eat anything not on the McD'oh menu. And your point is? He ate McD intensely for a month to show how nutritionally unbalanced it is, and he deliberately limited his physical activity to the level of the average American, and, no great surprise, the result of eating lots of high-saturated-fat, high-calorie, high-salt, high in high-fructose corn syrup — much worse for you than cane sugar — food and getting almost no exercise, is that you will gain weight.) [As Subway points out, Jared's specific diet may not be right for anyone else, and exercise should always be included in any weight-loss plan, but Subway does make quality food that can be an important part of a healthy lifestyle (along with Lean Cuisine and Fresca, the only diet soda I can tolerate), as opposed to a very infrequent guilty pleasure.]

I'll be back to incessant posting for about a week and a half in August, then off to Burning Man, and then I'll be back with a vengeance after Labor Day, at least until it's time for the Northwest Naraya on Vashon Island. Have a well-informed summer!

Historical trivia: what event of global importance occurred at 11 minutes past the 11th hour?